In my earlier blog, Sorry seems to be a useless word, I suggested that confessing the exact nature of our wrongs was what was necessary for making straight, our thinking and our lives.
To go a little deeper in our understanding of this concept, we need to go back to a point in every persons life.
At some point we were all children. I believe that all of us at one point were children at heart (if you are still, God bless you, now go bless someone else!).
Pure and simple, completely open to perceiving all things with an open mind and being "childlike."
Over the years, I've spoken or worked with people who had crime, alcoholism, drug addiction, abusive past or present, some form of hurt, habit or situation in their lives. To date, none have said to me,
"You know, when I was little, I woke up one day, got out of bed and made a conscious decision. I made a vow to myself -when I grow up, I'm going to be a bully, (or abusive, or a career criminal, or a misogynist, or a misandryst, or an addict or alcoholic or have a life filled with pain and resentment etc...)
You get the point.
So, what happened between then and now? Is it as simple as the old Nature vs. Nurture? Some of us were born bad? Or we're a product of our environment?
The work of us who wish to walk a spiritual path begins in our own lives. Isn't it then odd, that in beginning this work we find that our lives are lived forward and understood backwards and the things we find most difficult to accept are things that have already happened and that we are powerless to change.
I have come to believe for myself that who I am and what my life has become (Definition: how I treat others as the measure of identity) is a result of the choices I've made. How I have responded to events in my life has far more to do with what and who I've become. It's a path that eschews self victimization and forsakes all forms of irresponsibility, no matter what my current condition or situation may be.
This is a hard teaching, but why is it so difficult for us to discern this path?
I willingly declare I have been a victim at my own hands at least one time. Either due to lack of experience or my own poor judgment or decision making - but, only one time. The first time I make that poor choice or bad decision. Every time after that, it becomes a choice that I am responsible for.
Most all of us want to understand the why's of any or all of the sources of pain in our lives. And understanding, while good, is only a starting point on the way to where we all ultimately want to be - at peace.
Practicing acceptance as the key or crux of reconciliation, is the only bridge strong enough to carry us all the way to forgiveness of self and others.
But how can we practice acceptance for others when we ourselves do not possess it or know it personally in our own life experience? (Is there a person, place or condition in your life you find unacceptable?....)
How can we know acceptance personally unless some one is sent, who knows the way, and shows us acceptance.
Sometimes, the person God sends to show us love or acceptance, we don't or can't recognize. Why is this? Is it because of our own expectations and unexamined beliefs of what love and acceptance means? Could our vision be clouded by who or what we believe God is? Or is it the hardness of our hearts, in anger over injustice, real or imagined, or out of fear of what we will become if we let go and surrender?
At this point I'm thinking of Jesus, who picked the rejects and the not good enoughs, the losers from the Jewish rabbinical teaching tradition He picked them to change the world.
He "sent them".
Newsflash.... He's still sending them!!!
In closing, I ask only are you willing to believe, that your greatest pain, shame, or guilt, could have a purpose you can't see or imagine? Are you willing to believe that God believes in you?
1 Corinthians 1:27
" God chose the foolish things of the world to shame the wise, God chose the weak things of the world to shame the strong"
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